Why Undivided Listening can Heal your Relationships...and how to practice it

Today, we talk about my favorite thing to talk about – Undivided Listening. 

As far as I am concerned, it stands as the highest form of spiritual discipline there is, transcending all knowledge, principles, and the so-called wisdom. 

In one of our webinars, one of the members even called it “Sacred Listening”, a name which stayed with me, for how apt it is.

To truly listen, we must arrive without the baggage of our past, stripped bare each and every time. It is a daily test, inviting us to shed our preconceptions and be fully prepared to offer everything we have.

What is Undivided Listening:

 Undivided listening is about perceiving reality through all our channels of reception. It requires a silent mind, a rejection of intrusive thoughts while the other speaks, a complete immersion in the present moment.

• Total attention
• A primary focus on their voice
• A secondary focus on their facial expressions
• Additional focus on their body language
• A rejection of all intrusive thoughts
• A rejection of a desire to process what they are saying.

You might wonder how you would understand them if you don't take time to process.

Let me ask you this.

I am going to show you a number which you should NOT read.

Ready?

.

.

..

…

….

231

Did you read it? 

Why?

Now I ask you not to digest the food you ate in your previous meal.

Can you do it?

Or, whether you choose to or not, the digestion will happen?

Whether you choose or not, the reading and processing will happen?

Similarly, whether you choose to or not, the processing of that information will happen when you intently listen.

Try it out.

In fact, the less you want to process, the more you’ll absorb, and the more efficiently you'll end up processing.

Example: Imagine listening to a friend as she tells you about the incident that happened at her work. You keep listening to each and every word valuing it more than the million distractions in your mind. You experience a connection and say words which make her feel seen and heard.

Then she begins to listen to you.

The Profound Test:

Listening is far from passive; it's a rigorous test. We must let go of our past every time we engage in it. It's the act of being ready, of arriving with an open heart and a clear mind. To listen is to engage our ears, our hearts, and our intuition in harmony.

Example: A loved one opens up about their struggles. Instead of offering immediate solutions or judgments based on past experiences, you simply listen. Your open-hearted presence becomes a sanctuary for their thoughts and emotions.

Then at the precise moment, your intuition tells you to speak.

The words you utter, take your relationship in a new direction.

You get a fresh start with someone you have known for years.

Healing Through Listening:

Undivided listening possesses the extraordinary ability to mend old relationships and soothe deep wounds. It fosters genuine understanding and connection. 

When we listen with our entire being, we not only hear words but also the unspoken emotions and intentions behind them.

This is a profound form of healing that extends beyond individual relationships – it has the potential to heal the world.

Example: You have a heartfelt conversation with a long-estranged friend. By truly listening to each other's experiences and emotions, you both find closure and rekindle a deep friendship.

The Power of Intuition:

True listening works because it awakens our intuition. 

Intuition is the voice of our subconscious mind, as opposed to the intellect, which is the voice of our conscious mind.  

It speaks, expressing what our innermost self might convey in that very moment.

This intuitive act empowers us to choose the right words, in the right order, at the right time, and in a manner that resonates with the listener, effortlessly.

Example: While listening to a sibling recollect how your relationship has been strained, you suddenly see that it’s not that they don’t love you, just that they want a verbal acknowledgement that you understand how they feel.

You offer them the words of comfort they want.

The words reach a place they were intended to, and they in turn say what you have been waiting to hear from them too.

Listening without boundaries.

Undivided listening opens the pathway to intuitive speaking.

This makes the cumbersome practice of boundaries unnecessary.

If you do prepare what to say, how to be, and practice boundaries, that doesn’t mean you abandon them either.

It just means that as your listening picks up, your boundaries will fall away.

You begin to speak without hesitation and yet, you are protected.

Your Path to Undivided Listening:

Undivided listening is a practice that unfolds over time. It begins with the intention to be fully present in conversations, releasing preconceived notions, and quieting the echoes of the past.

Have you felt the profound impact of truly listening, or have you been touched by the undivided attention of another? 

How did these moments of deep listening make you feel, and what transformations did they bring into your connections?

I’m listening.

PS: Watch this video for more on Listening