How you talk to yourself matters, here's why.

 How often have you found yourself repeating certain phrases like "I am dull," "I am overweight," or "I don't deserve to be successful", “I will never find happiness”, “I am unlucky”, “I am not very intelligent”, in your mind? 

And how many times have you had experiences, which completely negate those statements?

You don’t, do you?

You only have experiences that validate, confirm, or reinforce these statements.

You might even say to yourself, “I am not wrong. I have these beliefs, because of these experiences in the first place.”

What if that was only half the story?

What if the other half was, you had those experiences because you have those beliefs?

Have you ever heard the saying, “You create your own reality?”

Even though this throw around aphorism is not always used in the correct way, it captures a subtle idea.

It highlights a fascinating aspect of human psychology that highlights the profound connection between self-perception and the stories we share with others.

These judgments, once formed, tend to become unchangeable truths if they are left unexamined.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves:

In my own experience, there was a time when I constantly told myself, "I'm not creative enough." Over time, this self-criticism became deeply ingrained, and I started avoiding creative projects. 

The more fear I had of creative tasks, the more I believed my self-created lie.

Pretty soon, I began feeling uncreative and it started becoming a part of my personality, my character.

It's remarkable how we can unknowingly sabotage our own potential by repeatedly telling ourselves these negative stories.

The lies we repeat to ourselves, eventually become truths.

The Truths We Keep Telling Others:

Now, let me share another part of my journey. I also frequently spoke about my ambitious plans to write a book.

I reveled in the support and encouragement I received, but these early celebrations replaced the drive I initially had.

My goal remained a mere idea, for the next 10 years.

The only time I actually began to write, when I stopped talking about it.

The other day, a friend was telling me how well his interviews were going to get into a company that he loves.

Everytime we spoke, he mentioned it, without me even asking.

Needless to say, he did not get that job, even after several interviews.

Sharing our goals and achievements prematurely can dilute our commitment and motivation. It makes our subconscious mind complacent, by giving it the pleasure, it has not yet earned!

Another experience is that of a cousin who used to talk endlessly about the business plan he had in mind.

Needless to say, he never launched his business.

The truths we keep repeating to others, lose their power, and become lies.

The Power of Silence and Self-Reflection:

There's a unique strength that arises when you quietly commit to your goals.

If it doesn’t need to be shared, don’t share it.

Ask these 4 questions, and you will know if its worth sharing.

1) Is it absolutely necessary to share?

2) Will sharing this deepen our relationship?

3) Am I doing this for validation and approval?

4) Is this the appropriate time to share?

Embracing the Silence Within:

In the quiet moments of introspection, we find the space to challenge our self-perceptions. 

We can question the validity of the stories we’ve been telling ourselves and explore the depths of our true potential.

Choose your words carefully, and your silence even more so.

So, I encourage you to embrace the power of self-reflection and silence.

Take time to evaluate the stories you tell yourselves, and consider the impact of sharing your aspirations with others.

As you navigate this delicate balance, you'll uncover a deeper understanding of yourselves and the true potential that lies within.

If you'd like to discuss this topic further or share your thoughts, please don't hesitate to reach out.

I'm here to support your journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Wishing you moments of deep self-awareness and empowerment.