# Finding Awareness

> Finding Awareness is a writing practice by Amit Pagedar exploring self-awareness, fear, ego, relationships, and conscious living. These are honest, direct essays written for people who are ready to look inward.

## About

- Author: Amit Pagedar
- Site: https://findingawareness.com
- Topics: Self-Awareness, Fear, Anxiety, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Presence
- Format: Essays (3-7 minute reads), published regularly

## Blog Posts (84 essays)

- [How to Get Clarity in a Relationship](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-to-get-clarity-in-a-relationship): The text message sits unanswered for three hours. [Relationships, Clarity, Self-Awareness, Attachment]
- [What Does Surrender Mean in a Relationship?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/what-does-surrender-mean-in-a-relationship): It is quite common to enter a relationship believing that we must manage, guide, or protect the connection to keep it safe. [Surrender, Relationships, Self-Awareness, Letting Go]
- [Why Do I Repeat the Same Relationship Patterns?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-do-i-repeat-the-same-relationship-patterns): You do not actually have relationship problems; you have gaps in self-understanding. [Relationships, Self-Awareness, Attachment, Healing]
- [Fear Is the Most Powerful Hallucination Keeping You Trapped in an Imaginary Future](https://findingawareness.com/blog/fear-is-the-most-powerful-hallucination-keeping-you-trapped-in-an-imaginary-future): Fear is the greatest hallucinogen there is. [Fear, Self-Awareness, Anxiety]
- [How Do I Calm Anxiety When My Mind and Body Feel Completely Out of Control?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-calm-anxiety-when-my-mind-and-body-feel-completely-out-of-control): A Moment of Recognition With all that's going on in the world, the endless wars, the injustice, the insatiable desire for more, and the continuous decimation of our environment, added on top of daily struggles to work, to survive and to pay our bills, if you are feeling a little anxious, spread a little too thin, you are actually having a normal reaction. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How Do I Let Go of Control When Everything in Me Wants to Push Harder?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-let-go-of-control-when-everything-in-me-wants-to-push-harder): Where there is no surrender, there is no beauty. [Relationships, Ego, Surrender]
- [How Do I Stop Struggling with Everything When I'm Trying So Hard to Get It Right?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-stop-struggling-with-everything-when-im-trying-so-hard-to-get-it-right): You are not struggling because you aren't trying enough. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Why does my partner trigger me so much?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-does-my-partner-trigger-me-so-much-when-they-haven-t-really-done-anything-wrong): Your partner may not be causing the whole reaction. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How to deal with difficult people at work without losing yourself](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-deal-with-difficult-people-at-work-who-make-my-job-miserable-every-day): Difficult people at work can make even a good job feel miserable. [Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How Do I Stop People-Pleasing and Start Being Myself Without Fearing Rejection?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-stop-people-pleasing-and-start-being-myself-without-fearing-rejection): "I change myself based on who I am speaking with", he said. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [Why Do I Struggle to Trust People When They're Being Kind or When They Seem Afraid?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-do-i-struggle-to-trust-people-when-theyre-being-kind-or-when-they-seem-afraid): The insecure mind has trouble understanding generosity. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [How Do I Stop Negative Thoughts From Taking Over My Mind and Ruining My Life?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-stop-negative-thoughts-from-taking-over-my-mind-and-ruining-my-life): Your mind is a garden that never stops growing - every thought you plant today becomes the seed of reality tomorrow. [Fear, Surrender]
- [Why do some people create conflict when things are going well in relationships?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-do-some-people-create-conflict-when-things-are-going-well-in-relationships): Peace is not the absence of problems. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How Do I Let Go of My Past When Painful Memories Keep Coming Back to Haunt Me?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-let-go-of-my-past-when-painful-memories-keep-coming-back-to-haunt-me): Sometimes there is nothing to be done with the past except to let it leave. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How Do Our Thoughts Create Anxiety and Fear About Things That Haven’t Happened Yet?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-our-thoughts-create-anxiety-and-fear-about-things-that-havent-happened-yet): We don't suffer reality. [Fear, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How Do I Find Inner Peace When My Mind Won't Stop Racing and I Can't Sit Still?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-find-inner-peace-when-my-mind-won-t-stop-racing-and-i-can-t-sit-still): When doing nothing means the world, you have found stillness. [Fear, Relationships, Self-Awareness]
- [Why do relationships hurt so much?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-do-relationships-hurt-so-much-and-how-is-that-pain-meant-to-awaken-you-spiritually): Relationships hurt because they expose the places where we seek safety, validation, control, or completion through another person. [Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Are you Feeling Anxious? Simple Wisdom to End Anxiety.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/are-you-feeling-anxious-simple-wisdom-to-end-anxiety): Anxiety is simply the mind racing ahead while the body remains stuck in the past. [Fear, Self-Awareness]
- [How Do I Find Myself Again After Feeling Lost and Disconnected from Who I Am?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-find-myself-again-after-feeling-lost-and-disconnected-from-who-i-am): Your drifts will make you forget yourself - and in that forgetting, you will remember who you truly are. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [How Do I Stop Believing Negative Thoughts About Myself That Aren't Even True?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-stop-believing-negative-thoughts-about-myself-that-aren-t-even-true): When we question the context in which our negative beliefs were created, they begin to fall away naturally, making space for genuine self-trust to emerge. [Relationships, Self-Awareness]
- [How Do I Stop Apologizing for Everything When I Haven't Done Anything Wrong?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-i-stop-apologizing-for-everything-when-i-haven-t-done-anything-wrong): People will take what you freely give, then they will ask for more. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How can staying fully present help you dissolve fear instantly instead of fighting it with courage or faith?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-can-staying-fully-present-help-you-dissolve-fear-instantly-instead-of-fighting-it): Fear is not conquered by courage or faith. [Fear, Ego, Surrender]
- [How can surrender make you more powerful by helping you stop fighting reality?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-can-surrender-make-you-more-powerful-by-helping-you-stop-fighting-reality): Surrender doesn't mean giving up - it means giving in to what already is, and in that giving in, aligning with the plan life has in store for you. [Fear, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How to stop people pleasing when it comes from fear of abandonment](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-you-stop-people-pleasing-when-it-s-driven-by-childhood-guilt-and-fear-of-abandonment): “I change myself based on who I am speaking with,” he said. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [How do you communicate without triggering egos or turning every conversation into an argument?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-do-you-communicate-without-triggering-egos-or-turning-every-conversation-into-an-argument): Every Ego has one undeniable trigger - another Ego. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [How can you simplify meditation when your mind feels too busy to slow down?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-to-simplify-meditation-and-find-stillness-in-a-busy-mind): If it isn't simple, it isn't meditation. [Fear, Surrender]
- [How do you turn anger into healing by uncovering the fear beneath it?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-to-transform-anger-into-healing-by-facing-the-fear-beneath-it): Because anger is just fear waiting to be loved. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Why does mainstream relationship advice fail, and how can self-understanding create lasting love?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-mainstream-relationship-advice-fails-and-why-self-understanding-matters): Most relationships don't fail from lack of love-they fail from lack of self-understanding. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How do you overcome analysis paralysis and take action when fear keeps you waiting for certainty?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/jun-07-are-you-stuck-in-indecision-learn-to-act-flow): The level of certainty most of us demand is only found in death, for the nature of life is uncertainty and flow. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How do you stop repeating toxic relationship patterns and build self-belief instead of just self-love?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-to-stop-repeating-toxic-relationship-patterns-with-self-belief-not-just-self-love): You don't need more self-love. [Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How does dropping labels help you see life more clearly](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-does-dropping-labels-help-you-see-life-more-clearly): To apply a label is the first step. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Why the ego resists letting go, and how to practice surrender](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-to-practice-surrender-for-inner-peace-when-the-ego-resists-letting-go): “The ego is wide. The gate is narrow.” Of all the things I speak about, surrender may be the most misunderstood. A woman [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [8 Steps to Choosing Yourself, Without Feeling Selfish](https://findingawareness.com/blog/8-steps-to-choosing-yourself-without-feeling-selfish): To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Do You Feel Social Pressure? It is Time to Revolt](https://findingawareness.com/blog/do-you-feel-social-pressure-it-is-time-to-revolt): You often meet your destiny on the road you take to avoid it - unknown. [Fear, Relationships]
- [Why does Reality Hurt? Because Such is its nature.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-does-reality-hurt-because-such-is-its-nature): Suchness is reality without concepts. [Fear, Relationships]
- [The Best Way to Change Something? Accept it.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/the-best-way-to-change-something-accept-it): Accepting something will not make it stay, it will make it flow. [Fear, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [That Voice in Your Head...Who Does it Belong To?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/that-voice-in-your-head-who-does-it-belong-to): Not every voice in your head is yours-some voices were given to you. [Fear, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [How to Choose Yourself](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-to-choose-yourself): You don't lose people by choosing yourself-you lose people by choosing them, for yourself. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? Empathy vs Compassion](https://findingawareness.com/blog/are-you-a-highly-sensitive-person-empathy-vs-compassion): Sensitivity is a gift. [Fear, Relationships, Self-Awareness]
- [Do You Listen to Your Intuition?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/do-you-listen-to-your-intuition): To follow your Intuition is to lead your way back to a home you never knew you had. [Fear, Ego]
- [Why Loneliness is a Gift and How to Use it](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-loneliness-is-a-gift-and-how-to-use-it): Loneliness is not isolation, it is a portal into the world. [Relationships, Self-Awareness]
- [Why Most Relationships Don’t Work](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-most-relationships-don-t-work-2): The one who listens, loses themselves, but finds the world. [Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [Why you Feel so Insecure and How to Reverse it](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-you-feel-so-insecure-and-how-to-reverse-it): Flow is the nature of life itself. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Are you Afraid of Losing them?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/are-you-afraid-of-losing-them): Hold them like water, not like a rope to which you cling for dear life. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Why It's Not Your Fault & 3 Ways to Soothe Your Inner Critic](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-it-s-not-your-fault-3-ways-to-soothe-your-inner-critic): Like cherries on a tree, for a bird in the cage This is a conversation I had with a close friend, many years ago. [Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [3 Ways to go From Ego to Awareness - Embrace your Inner Teacher](https://findingawareness.com/blog/3-Ways-to-go-From-Ego-to-Awareness): The path to peace lies not in fighting the ego but in observing it. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Still Struggling to Let Go? Try This Powerful Affirmation](https://findingawareness.com/blog/still-struggling-to-let-go-try-this-powerful-affirmation): The Story of the Student and the Stones A young man once approached Zen Master Joshu and asked, "Master, I have suffered a lot. [Fear, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Do you Get Along with your Family?  Here's what you might be missing.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/do-you-get-along-with-your-family-here-s-what-you-might-be-missing): We all know, that the more you want to change someone, the less they will want to. [Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Finding True Connection and Stability Within](https://findingawareness.com/blog/finding-true-connection-and-stability-within): It's not what you do that makes you tired, it's how you do it. [Fear, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [The Key to Living Fearlessly](https://findingawareness.com/blog/the-key-to-living-fearlessly): Let me ask you a simple question. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [The 5 modes of the ego: are you striving or flowing?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/are-you-striving-or-flowing-the-5-modes-of-the-ego): Have you ever felt stuck in a pattern of fear, self-doubt, anger, guilt, shame, or constant striving? [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Authenticity: The Quiet Revolution Within](https://findingawareness.com/blog/authenticity-the-quiet-revolution-within): An authentic No, is far more powerful than a pretentious Yes. [Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [Do you Sabotage Yourself Often? Learn The Art of Commitment.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/do-you-sabotage-yourself-often-learn-the-art-of-commitment): "He who has a why to live for, can bear almost any how " - Nietszche "I sometimes feel like I am a failure", he said wistfully. [Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [Why Things Change when you Accept them... and the teacher with wings.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-things-change-when-you-accept-them-and-the-teacher-with-wings): The teacher with wings As some of you know, from watching the Instagram Stories a strange thing happened a couple of weeks ago. [Fear, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Why Resistance Compounds your Suffering and What to do about it](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-resistance-compounds-your-suffering-and-what-to-do-about-it): No one swims down the river. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Why are you really angry? and Internal Actions. + Meditation Minute](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-are-you-really-angry-and-internal-actions-meditation-minute): The moment you label something, you will have an emotional response. [Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [When the Tree Spoke to Me ... and what it taught me about life.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/when-the-tree-spoke-to-me-and-what-it-taught-me-about-life): My time has come There is a park nearby where I live. [Fear, Relationships]
- [Whatever holds your attention, grows.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/whatever-holds-your-attention-grows): Whatever you think will happen, has already happened It was sometime in the fall of 2008. [Fear, Relationships, Self-Awareness]
- [Is it Necessary to Forgive in order to Heal? + Meditation Minute](https://findingawareness.com/blog/is-it-necessary-to-forgive-in-order-to-heal): Blame is a fire that burns the one who holds it "You talk a lot about forgiveness . [Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Are you improving yourself or rejecting yourself? + Meditation Minute](https://findingawareness.com/blog/are-you-improving-yourself-or-rejecting-yourself): A constant desire for self-improvement is a form of self-rejection "I can't stop criticizing myself. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [Are you attached to your pain? An easy way to heal.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/are-you-attached-to-your-pain-an-easy-way-to-heal): To find yourself, you must be prepared to lose yourself. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Why your loved ones will hold you back... and why you shouldn't let them.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-your-loved-ones-will-hold-you-back-and-why-you-shouldn-t-let-them): Those who you love dearly, will be the first ones to stand in your path. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Is Awareness enough to change you or do you need to act? - A conversation.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/is-awareness-enough-to-change-you-or-do-you-need-to-act-a-conversation): When the illusion breaks, it breaks completely. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Are you Escaping again? it may be time to face yourself.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/are-you-escaping-again-it-may-be-time-to-face-yourself): The more you escape, the more you must face. [Relationships, Self-Awareness]
- [What does egoic mean? 8 egoic behaviors to watch for](https://findingawareness.com/blog/whose-ego-is-smaller-and-8-egoic-behaviors-to-watch-out-for): “My ego is definitely smaller than yours. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Zen archery and letting go: the more you grasp, the less you hold](https://findingawareness.com/blog/the-more-you-grasp-the-less-you-hold-and-the-zen-of-archery): The more you grasp, the less you hold. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Are you seeing things as they are, or through the lens of the past?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/am-i-seeing-things-through-the-lens-of-the-past-or-as-they-are): Am I seeing things through the lens of the past, or as they are? [Fear, Self-Awareness]
- [Forcing Clarity creates Confusion](https://findingawareness.com/blog/forcing-clarity-creates-confusion): Forcing silence creates noise. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Do you know the key to resilience and inner peace?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/do-you-know-the-key-to-resilience-and-inner-peace): A Zen Story that captures the essence. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Do you Suffer from Feelings of Low Self-Worth or Low Self-Esteem?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/do-you-suffer-from-feelings-of-low-self-worth-or-low-self-esteem): Here are 4 Purposeful ways you can improve it. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How to go beyond the Trap of Comparison](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-to-go-beyond-the-trap-of-comparison): Have you been Comparing yourself again? [Fear, Self-Awareness]
- [How you talk to yourself matters, here's why.](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-you-talk-to-yourself-matters-here-s-why): How often have you found yourself repeating certain phrases like " I am dull," " I am overweight ," or " I don't deserve to be successful ", " I will never find happiness ", "I am unlucky", "I am not very intelligent" , in your mind? [Fear, Relationships, Self-Awareness]
- [Are you Feeling Drained? Start Conserving your Mental Energy](https://findingawareness.com/blog/are-you-feeling-drained-start-conserving-your-mental-energy): Here are 7 Ways you can start saving your mental energy. [Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Do you often lose Control?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/do-you-often-lose-control): Here are a few ways you can stop Reacting and start Responding. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Feeling a deep disconnect? May be your core needs are unmet...](https://findingawareness.com/blog/feeling-a-deep-disconnect-may-be-your-core-needs-are-unmet): What are core needs, and how to fulfill them. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Self-Awareness]
- [Why Undivided Listening can Heal your Relationships...and how to practice it](https://findingawareness.com/blog/why-undivided-listening-can-heal-your-relationships-and-how-to-practice-it): Today, we talk about my favorite thing to talk about Undivided Listening. [Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How to find Control through Letting Go? Surrender](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-find-control-through-letting-go-surrender): Today, we delve into a profound concept that can lead to inner peace and transformation: Surrender. [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Love vs attachment: how to tell the difference in a relationship](https://findingawareness.com/blog/is-that-love-or-attachment-what-s-the-real-difference-how-to-let-go-of-attachments): Have you ever wondered whether you truly love someone, or whether you are attached to them? [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How to Start being Consistent with Anything you do.      7 Effective Ways to build Consistency](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-to-be-more-consistent-7-effective-ways-to-build-consistency): Have you ever wondered why you begin something but don't seem to finish it? [Fear, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [How to Clarify your Intent? A deep-dive into developing focus and intention](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-to-clarify-your-intent-a-deep-dive-into-developing-focus-and-intention): Today, I'm going to tell you a story about my martial arts teacher. [Fear, Surrender]
- [You are much stronger than you think - here's how you can find out how strong you are](https://findingawareness.com/blog/you-re-stronger-here-s-how-you-can-find-out-how-strong-you-are): Today, I want to share something important with you-a reminder that you are far stronger than you might have come to believe about yourself. [Fear, Self-Awareness]
- [How to Let Go of What has already happened](https://findingawareness.com/blog/how-to-let-go): Have you ever noticed how sometimes we keep thinking about a person, or an event repeatedly? [Fear, Relationships, Surrender, Self-Awareness]
- [Stop Chasing Your Goals If You Want to Reach Them](https://findingawareness.com/blog/stop-chasing-goals): Have you ever decided to accomplish a goal, like losing some weight, and realized that in spite of your best efforts, you are making little or no progress towards it? [Fear]
- [Compassion vs ego: what is guiding your decisions?](https://findingawareness.com/blog/compassion-vs-ego-what-s-guiding-your-decisions): I wanted to share with you a recent incident that happened in my life. [Fear, Relationships, Ego, Surrender, Self-Awareness]

## Key Pages

- [Blog Index](https://findingawareness.com/blog): All essays
- [Membership](https://findingawareness.com/membership): Join the Finding Awareness community