Feeling a deep disconnect? May be your core needs are unmet...
Apr 19, 2024
What are core needs, and how to fulfill them.
Today, we delve into a fundamental aspect of our human experience - our core needs.
Our needs are deep-seated, and understanding and addressing them can lead to a more fulfilling life.
The Four Core Needs of Human Beings:
- To Be Seen and Heard, To Be Loved for Who We Are: At the heart of our existence is the yearning to be acknowledged, accepted, and cherished just as we are. This need drives us to seek authentic connections. We want people to truly see, hear and love us when we show them our truest selves.
- To Feel a Profound Connection: We crave connections that go beyond surface-level interactions. These profound connections bring depth and meaning to our lives. They make us feel unified, or one with another. These can be both intellectual and spiritual in nature.
- To Express Ourselves Fearlessly: The ability to express ourselves authentically is essential for our well-being. It's about discovering our true selves and allowing that self to express itself. If there is a musician hidden inside of us, we want that musician to create music fearlessly. If a writer, we want words to unleash themselves upon the world.
- To Find Meaning and Fulfillment: We seek purpose and fulfillment in our lives, a sense that what we do matters and contributes to something greater. Through our work, we yearn to be part of the whole.
The Undercurrent of Discontent:
When our life doesn't address these core needs, we often feel an undercurrent of discontent. A sense of void and meaninglessness pervades our daily existence.
The Key to Fulfillment:
The path to fulfillment begins within us. We can start by focusing on the most crucial core need - free self-expression.
Self-expression in human relationships comes from Undivided Listening. ( Explored in previous email).
Self-expression in other areas comes from exploring and discovering how you can flow through life authentically, finding your unique drifts.
What are Your Drifts?
Drifts are the natural callings, the things that pull us toward them. They are our natural-born talents and inclinations. Discovering them is a journey of self-exploration.
Your drift is a stream coming down the mountain. It is already happening.
- Think back to your childhood memories. What hobbies did you most enjoy?
- What activities could you immerse yourself in for hours without noticing the time passing?
- Reflect on the current issues that resonate with you deeply.
- Consider your childhood influences - who or what inspired you?
- Whose work or life left a strong impression on you?
- Which hobbies or activities were (or are) you naturally good at?
- What have you always imagained you would be good at if you tried it?
As you delve into these questions, you'll uncover the threads of your drifts. They are often hidden in the things that have consistently sparked your curiosity and passion throughout your life. When you are in your drift, you naturally express yourself, and it doesn't matter if anyone is listening. This is when your core need for self-expression begins to be fulfilled.
Interconnected Core Needs:
Each core need is interconnected with the others. As one is fulfilled, the rest follow suit.
- When you can express yourself, you are heard.
- When you are heard, you are seen.
- When you are seen, you feel loved.
- When you feel loved, you feel connected.
- When you feel connected, life gains meaning and purpose.
The Power of Self-Observation:
Self-observation is the wellspring of all your core needs. To answer the above questions you will have to spend time observing your thoughts everyday.
Self-expression is, in essence, self-description. You must first see and understand yourself to effectively convey who you are to the world.
Start by seeing yourself clearly. As you do, the world will begin to see you for who you truly are.
The journey to fulfilling your core needs begins with this self-awareness.
In Conclusion:
Your journey to fulfillment is an inner exploration, an authentic expression of your true self. As you embrace your core needs and engage in self-expression, you'll find that the rest naturally falls into place.
Remember to use your core needs as the compass guiding you toward a life of purpose, connection, and fulfillment.
Others do not fulfill them, you do.